Going for Love

Sonia a young enthusiastic girl lived in Bali. She was just 18 when she met Ben who was twenty years older than her. Ben was a happy-go-lucky man with a deep understanding of life. He fast became a friend, philosopher and guide to her and then over the years more than just a friend. They played together and loved each other for seven years in an open relationship. Sonia during this time had met many boys but none seemed suitable enough for the parameters of marriage. Ben had time and again told Sonia that marriage is a contract that may or may not work but she was insistent on having the social license of being married. Her parents then found an appropriate boy Omar who was more her age with a steady and lucrative job in a newspaper in Jakarta. She was married with great fanfare and moved in with her husband.

After their honeymoon was over the marriage became turbulent. Two strangers getting to know each other at close quarters can be like hell because sometimes there is no freedom in the closed quarter of marriage.

Ben had told her before her marriage that it is not marriage that connects you with happiness but that it is love that does it. Follow your love for that is what guides you to a destiny of joy. Love removes pain. Love waters the soul of the universe with joy and that is why the universe supports love at every step.

Sonia remembered that it was Inder a young Indian boy who lived in Bali and was a Radio Jockey at an FM music channel who really cared for her and she too had felt the whiff of that inexplicable magnetic attraction called love for Inder. He had moved from Bali to Jakarta and joined a Radio Station there so that he could remain close to Sonia. In her busy life of trying to settle her home and balance her marriage Sonia would meet Inder for a coffee now and then.

Sonia visited Bali after a year of marriage to be with her parents and spent one whole day with Ben to feel the warmth of his unconditional and open love. Ben gave her complete freedom in her life and would give her the best advice which was never taken. He always reminded her that the mind suffers if it doesn't follow the heart because the mind is not looking for lasting joy and it attracts you towards immediate pleasures which are invariably followed by pain. The heart, on the other hand, suffers if the mind doesn't follow it because it is blind to immediate dangers and the mind sees the immediate surroundings to navigate through them. The blind heart can even get you killed in order to be with it's love, for the heart is not concerned with material loss or gain but the alert and intelligent mind wants to live a material life and can save your life. So, let the heart always be in command to set the goals and let the mind be the chauffeur to get you to your desires safely.

Sonia went back to Jakarta after a month in Bali, renewed and rejuvenated. Her husband Omar was waiting for her at the airport with a bouquet of flowers and they hugged each other like long lost lovers. Everything was like heaven with Omar taking her out for a candlelight dinner and the next day to a discotheque and the third day he cooked her a wonderful meal. They made love for three days but the fourth day there was an argument and he slapped her hard. Sonia cried and walked out of the house. She called Inder who came immediately and took her for a drive. He caressed and consoled her till she became calm and composed. Then he drove her back to her house, kissed her on her forehead and they decided to meet the next afternoon at Inder's flat.

Sonia called Ben on the phone and told her story which he listened to patiently. She said that she was falling in love with Inder but was scared. Ben told her that the fear of falling in love is the fear of getting hurt in love, when you open your heart and make it vulnerable! This is an unnecessary suffering. Don't judge the pain of getting hurt as ''bad'' because it is through breaks in the heart that more love flows and heals. Love never fails in what it sets out to do... Love only changes it's course when it's through! Love is always there, flowing like a river across eternity!

Finally, Sonia was convinced that she had to divorce Omar and be with Inder but not marry him!

To learn why there is sacrifice, struggle and pain, click here - Why is there sacrifice, struggle and pain on earth?

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